“Virginity does not determine a woman's virtue”

Posted date 08/12/2018

7.228 view

Posted date 08/12/2018

7.228 view

In recent days, the Dai Nam student community has been buzzing with the story of a former student’s confession about the issue of virginity. Although she loves her current boyfriend very much and is preparing to get married, the girl is worried that her boyfriend will find out that she has lost her virginity; she is wondering whether to tell her boyfriend the truth or go to a medical facility to restore her virginity.

In recent days, the Dai Nam student community has been buzzing with the story of a former student’s confession about the issue of virginity. Although she loves her current boyfriend very much and is preparing to get married , the girl is worried that her boyfriend will find out that she has lost her virginity; she is wondering whether to tell her boyfriend the truth or go to a medical facility to restore her virginity.

Is virginity really important and a decisive factor in a woman's virtue, love and family happiness? The reporter had a conversation with Dr. Le Thi Kim Dung - Head of Obstetrics Department, 178 Thai Ha Medical Center (under the Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Development) - a long-time obstetrician and gynecologist on this issue.

The word "virgin" has three or seven lines.

Doctor Le Thi Kim Dung

-Doctor, what is your opinion on the issue of women's virginity today?

The late poet Nguyen Du once said, “The word virginity has three or seven sides.” In Vietnam, sexual needs belong to the moral category, making people evaluate women in a different way. I think that it is a matter of human instinct, people have the right to choose. Why do women lose their virginity? Everyone has the right to their own body. In life, people have the right to choose. Because of emotions, they give their virginity to others, that is normal. Or they want to experiment with their sexual feelings so they decide. That is also their personal right. I think that we should not put too much emphasis on this issue, but let them choose what they want.

Virginity does not determine a woman's virtue, nor is it the deciding factor in love between men and women, nor is it the deciding factor in marital happiness. What is the main criterion for a man to choose a woman as his wife? If virginity is the main criterion, is it everything when he does not fully understand the person (personality, interests, habits, ways of dealing with people, education level, working ability, etc.). A wife's virginity does not follow him throughout his life, nor is it something that brings happiness to his marriage because it does not know how to share, does not accompany him through the ups and downs of life.

-Can you explain why men always want to choose virgin wives? Is this the reason why girls who have lost their virginity are forced to go to medical facilities to have their virginity restored?

Virginity repair is a common practice in this society because Vietnamese men are very possessive. Meanwhile, women are often afraid and do not take the initiative to share, leading to a situation where they need to have something to show their virginity and integrity for their partner.

Tragicomedy of "vaginal repair"

-Have you ever performed hymenoplasty in any cases? Can you share some stories that impressed you?

A lot. I still remember the case of a girl in her 30s. She always felt like she couldn’t love anyone because she was afraid that her lover would look down on her. She couldn’t open up about her own thoughts, so even though she didn’t have a new lover, she still couldn’t get out of that feeling. She decided to have her virginity repaired to regain her sense of security.

In particular, there was a case of two medical students who had sex before marriage. On the day of the wedding, the two came here to have their virginity repaired to hide it from their families. The reason was because the male student was an ethnic minority, and on the wedding night, the mother-in-law would lie next to him to check whether the daughter-in-law was still a virgin or not.

In addition, there is a rather strange couple, once a year, on the wedding day, the wife comes here to repair her virginity so that her husband can feel like having sex with a virgin. Behind that is a touching story because before, when they came together, the wife lost her virginity and confessed to her husband before the wedding. I think that both of them must love, understand and sympathize with each other to be able to do that.

Vietnamese youth are seriously lacking in knowledge about sex and reproductive health.

-So, according to the doctor, what do young people need to equip themselves with to avoid falling into the above "half-laughing, half-crying" situations?

Sexual health must be mastered, must understand that sexual needs are very normal needs. But we need to be proactive with our bodies, control whether to get pregnant or not, how to have safe sex. After that, you can choose whether to get married or not? Do not make the issue too serious to cause stress and fatigue for both.
I just want to share two important slogans, which are no unwanted pregnancies, and no sexually transmitted diseases.

Thank you doctor for this interesting conversation.

Hau Dang (performed)

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